We were delighted to receive this message from a client who shared her experience of life changes she experienced after a soul retrieval. She has generously allowed us to share it with you, too, here:
I didn’t know what to expect from the soul retrieval. The morning after Kathleen did the soul retrieval, my husband and I drove to Iowa City to celebrate (a one hour drive). I was driving because he is in a wheelchair and can’t drive. I felt happy that morning and there were beautiful clouds above us, in front and surrounding us, curving around like the curvature of the earth. I was very aware of the clouds, as if they were much closer than usual and I felt I wanted to listen to music and tuned into a choir singing Bach, it was all very vivid and gorgeous. I felt a sense of wonder that one feels as a child as we drove along, completely in the present. I was unusually patient with my husband. He requires a lot of attention as he can’t move other than his neck, head and a bit in the shoulder and has trouble speaking, and I tire quickly on a drive and tend to be a little sharp. But not on that day. I could feel the returning child gifts within me and I kept hugging them internally and welcoming them. I felt the fullness of their presence and return within my being. Also there was a piece that I had given to my husband, it was welcomed back, and there was a sense of being more myself.
There was another aspect that returned, the disappointed or self sabotaging aspect, and I began to recognize what that self-sabotage really meant (not what I thought). Self sabotage had something to do with the gift of reconnection to my dreams (within the context of this insight), I realized that I should stop chasing the dreams that were totally unrealistic, (and not fun, bring little profit, hard work and impossible to arrange), and follow the fun ones that were within my reach in my situation (as a caregiver for my husband). Insights about my childhood also came to me. But most impressive to me was my patience, and the return of innocence and enjoyment of the simplest things (clouds, music, landscape, people), due to being more in the moment. These feelings were on and off during the next six days.
And THEN six days later, I experienced excruciating pain in my back which left me incapacitated for about three weeks, slowly recuperating over a six week period (still not fully there yet). My back had begun to feel more pain than usual a few weeks earlier in the summer. But I have never felt pain like that (maybe giving birth, but that was a mere 16 hours). When I told Kathleen about this and asked if it could have something to do with the soul retrieval, she wrote, “Sometimes CHANGE WANTS to happen for you SO DEEPLY so you can live with freedom”…and boy did I cherish those words. I realized that the feeling of too much being asked of me was being manifested in this pain. Suddenly I could no longer take care of Mark and everyone had to scramble! I was driven deep within by the pain and honestly, it was a relief (but excruciating) to do absolutely nothing for three weeks. I was like a helpless child. And I had to ask for help. But mostly I was aware of the pain, of my physical body and I had to take care of myself. Kathleen was very helpful during this period when we emailed each other.
Now, the result is that in the last few weeks (seven weeks since the soul retrieval) our lives have been rearranged in such a way that I have the help that I really need in taking care of my husband without damaging my back. Getting more help was a step in feeling safe in the world and not sabotaging myself, it was a HUGE STEP in my life. We are both much more relaxed because of this change, and I am seeing the possibility of having more time to myself in the future, something I just couldn’t see before. Also, I have had to change my diet and health habits to improve the arthritis in my back and I feel better for it.
I’ve also felt more inspiration in my art. That has been very strong, even when I was immobilized, as soon as I could sit for ten minutes, I began a new pastel painting. The feeling that “I don’t want to be here anymore” has mostly disappeared as well.
It’s an ongoing process, and as time moves forward I begin to recognize the internal attitudes that are changing and the changes that need to take place. Self-sabotage is starting to fall away, piece by piece, as I become more aware of the things I do to sabotage myself, (in the past it was difficult to see this). There are times when I might have “given” myself to Mark out of a deep sense of “How can I help him through this?” Now, instead, something inside of me says, “No, that won’t help either of us.” These were all part of the gifts received through the soul retrieval, and all I can say is welcome home and thank you, Kathleen!